This guy is waiting for me to finish using the toilet and he can see me thru a crack in the stall and while I’m putting my pants on he screams ooh mommie pants!

This fucking guy.  I don’t know whether to punch him in the face or kick him in the asshole.  So I compromise and stick my nipple in his mouth.

You gonna make it weird for me I’ll make it weird for you! I shout. I ALWAYS top the weird in the room! ALWAYS! You don’t know how ready I am to make it weird.  I’m always about 3 seconds away from making it weird. It’s easy. For me. Just pause for a bit too long and watch as the person you’re talking to goes from totally fine to earth shattering terror in about 3 seconds. Fun.